Thursday, May 29, 2014

Grandparenting: On Herding Cats

Wiggly Little People!
My beautiful grandson, Brycen, was in his end of school program today. He is four. It is so much fun to watch these little people in situations like this. They are just being who they are and they do not worry much about anything else. I have taught this age group and I will tell you right now it is a bit like herding cats.

When they walk onto the stage, their shirts are tucked in and every hair is in place. Before long the cowlick and the shirt tail has escaped and both shoes are untied. I don't know how or why but there you have it. 

When I looked around the room I could see that every mom, dad and grandparents was smiling.
His mom and dad are heros in Brycen's eyes!
My grandson told his teacher he wanted to be a paramedic when he grew up just like his mom and dad. That made we wonder when the little boy next to him wanted to be a superhero...do you suppose his parents are Batman and Wonder Woman? Maybe in his eyes they are.

This is one of the joys of being retired and can spend time close to your children and grandchildren. When people ask me what I do all day I always wonder if they could even guess. Life is good.

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Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Hot topics for retirement Patterns! Helping you arrive at peace sooner!

A Toast to Retirement!
I always check my traffic and why it is coming to my blog.  Here are 2 HOT TOPICS that seem to draw traffic consistently.   If you have not read these post before, I invite you to do that today.


This was written almost a year ago but all the truths remain the same.  Take a look!
In another post written several month earlier, I pointed out the patterns that snow-birds follow.  Those of us that seek a place in the sun during those month that are cold and dreary at home seem to take the same path and arrive at the same destination...but we each throw in a twist of our very own.
I hope you are having a wonderful week.  Stop back by one day soon.

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Monday, May 26, 2014

Patterns Snow Birds Follow...rent then buy!

RV parked in Mexico.
A friend that lives in Florida wrote me a note on my Facebook account today.  His comment was that people come to Florida for two or three month and repeat this pattern for a couple of years.  In the end they usually buy a park model or condo and come back to the same place every year. 

We see this same pattern in Arizona.  It would appear that snow birds are at home where ever they land! Here in Arizona those people that rent for two a three month and find they like the lifestyle will come back a second year, rent again and buy a park model during the second year.  Economics talk...it is simply cheaper to buy a park model in a RV resort and rent the lot than it is to rent a park model year after year.  If they are relatively wealthy they will buy a home or condo. Either way they can make themselves at home. There appears to be something for everyone.

It is very easy to make friends...activities in the resorts are so diverse that is you will find something that interests you.  Regional parties for those from the mid west or Canada, for example, give new comers an opportunity to find like minded people.  Pickle ball and bocci is very "age" friendly and a huge group of people participate.  These activities are great ice breakers.   And I believe that the pattern is repeated in every snow bird landing spot in America.  As my friend pointed out, geographical location does not change the course people will take during retirement. 

In our case we had traveled for nearly 9 years before we were ready to settle into one place.  But, in the end, we did what most snow birds do...we stayed in one place for two years, bought a park model, sold our RV and are spending 6 month of the year in Arizona.  We love it.

We are located in Rincon Country East RV Resort in Tucson, AZ.

It is all very interesting...the study of human nature.

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Sunday, May 25, 2014

Would Seeing an Image of Your Aging Self Change What You Do Today? Harvard Business Review

As I grow older, I know that time is not on my side. It would seem that I need to make the most of the time I will be on this earth. It is all but impossible to imagine what the next 10-20 years will bring but I know that, if I am alive, I want to be ALIVE! I began to wonder, would seeing my "future self" in a digitally altered image or writing a letter to my "future self" about what I will do today change the quality of my life in the future?  Maybe so. And why would that be?

I began this line of thought after reading an article in the Harvard Business Review. The article called Would You Make Better Decisions if You Could See Yourself in the Future? told about a study by New York University’s Leonard N. Stern School of Business assistant professor Hal Hershfield on the effect looking into the future might have on decisions made today. The gist of the article was stated in one of the opening paragraphs:
Many people feel disconnected from the individuals they’ll be in the future and, as a result, discount rewards that would later benefit them. But brief exposure to aged images of the self can change that behavior. Harvard Business Review: Would You Make Better Decisions if You Could See Yourself in the Future
I was surprised at how this study revealed a certain detachment by people about their future until they actually saw an image of themselves altered to reflect what they would look like in 10 or 20 years. In a continuation of this study, a test group of young people were asked to write a letter to their future selves.

The researchers found that the subjects made better decisions about money after they saw how they looked in the future. In the letter writing part of the study they found that the letter writing group were less likely than a others to take a chance that might come back and haunt them at some future time.

Even at my age I am ambivalent about skin cancer or being overweight and how it might affect my future health. So I was struck by how this study might apply to my life as I age. See, I think I am going to live a very long time. I had better take care of my "today self" so my "future self" has a chance. Would I be more aware of my choices if, for example, I were to see an image of myself altered digitally to make me look as though I were 10, 15, or even 20 years older? Would I change something I was doing today? And how about that letter writing idea?

So I wrote a very private letter to myself and printed it. Here is part of it.  I began....
Dear Future Self, 
I decided to take the time to remind you of the past and while I am doing that, take a peek at the future. So I am writing you a letter. It has been a long time since you were in the place I am today but the way you are feeling is a result of what I did back when you were your younger self.....
.....My mind is on my mind a lot now. I don't want to live to be you if my mind is not good. So I read and talk with my husband, neighbors or friends as much as possible.....
 I still write my blog in 2014. I should publish anything that I think you might like. I have not done that but maybe today is a good day to start. You might find this letter in a notebook or even published one day and we will laugh together.....
I almost didn't use this image...
I can see my double chin.
But this post is all about HONESTY and if
I am not honest with myself, who will I be

honest with.
Oh, and I visited with my "future self" yesterday. I know you remember Clementine next door. Remember she was ninety in 2014 and still walked every morning and moved as lithely as I want to when we are her age. I think she is a reminder that less is more.When I grow up I want to be her. I am working on it. 
So, Future Self, did I make the grade? How are things going for you? If they are not good and it is my fault, I am sorry. I did the my very best. 
Much love
Me
I did not include all my thoughts here in the blog...somethings are just between me, myself and I. I was amazed at what I could tell myself that I could never tell anyone else. I am very glad I took the time to write the letter. And I do think it will make a difference.

Why don't you give it a try and come back to let me know how it went. I don't think you will regret it.

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Note: I would still like to do the digitally altered picture but I will have to figure out how to do that tomorrow.


Idea from:

You Make Better Decision if you See Your Future Self (Harvard Business Review)
How Would You Live Today If You Could See Yourself In 20 Years? | Riskology.co http://riskology.co/future-self/
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Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Travel: Don't Dress Like a Clown

I must be getting a little bunchy...I am beginning to think about travel even though I have no plans to go anywhere for months. I am having too much fun here at home. Yet, in the night, I wake up thinking about our adventures.

I talk with my family and friends about travel quite a bit. My husband tells me they don't care but I don't care whether they care or not. I like to talk about it so I do. The story that came to my mind last night was the one about us traveling home from Spain just after the war on Iraq had started. The security was very high, the Spanish people were furious with the American president so we had to pass ourselves off as Canadian.

We had witnessed the Palm Sunday procession that morning, lay on the beach in the afternoon and changed quickly before we headed to the airport. I was dressed in my 501's with a light linen jacket, a big straw hat I had worn on the beach, sensible shoes and I carried my beach bag with my swimming suit inside.

2003 In Toledo Train Station...what was that
book I was reading?
I didn't really think much about how cranky the Spanish ticket people at the airport were because, in my experience, the Spanish men can be a little cranky on a very good day. The flight went as expected. Nothing unusual happened until we arrived in Vancouver and got ready to re board the plane for Portland.

It was very cold in Canada and we had a 3 hour layover. When I began to shiver I found a
2000 at the Generalife in the Alhambra,
Granada, Spain
newsstand inside the area where we were allowed to wait and bought a big Vancouver sweatshirt to put on over my jacket. Now I was dressed in my 501 jeans, wore a big straw hat, a Vancouver sweatshirt over a long linen jacket, sensible shoes and was carrying a beach bag.

I just pushed the security people over the edge! My husband zoomed through, found a seat on the aisle and waited as I was searched, required to take off my sensible shoes as well as my big straw hat and patted down by a woman. They also looked inside my beach bag. I don't know what the criteria was in 2003 but I am thinking that dressing like a clown with a beach bag did not work for airport security then.

I didn't giggle until I was safely seated and then hysteria shook my body. It was a tense time in the world...thankfully we kept our sense of humor. We had known that, after 9/11, our travel life would never be the same.

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You might also like:
Travel to Spain: Lonely Planet Suggestions
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Sunday, May 18, 2014

Great Beach Read Book: The Last Day for Rob Rhino By Kathleen O'Donnell

It has come to my attention that I need to pay better attention. See, I love a Pulitzer Prize winning book or a book that gains attention for it meaty content or a book written about or by someone I admire. The Last Day for Rob Rhino by Kathleen O'Donnell fits into no category of mine so I didn't notice it at all. (Now I find that it was an Indy Book of the Year Finalist.)


I first noticed the book when I was reading Kathleen O'Donnell's blog on her website that carries her name. The blog page is called Bald Spots. I read a post she had written recently about her stepfather. She did not particularly like him, his alcoholic lifestyle or even the way he treated her mother. But she held a grudging respect for the effort he put into trying to be the father he knew she needed. He fell far short and she could not grieve his death because her memories were clouded by his abusive behavior. It is not a happy story but the way she wrote it was just beautiful honest and even poignantly funny. 


Kathleen O'Donnell

When I saw that she had written a book, I went to Amazon and bought the Kindle version. That was day before yesterday. I finished the book late last night. 

O'Donnell's byline for her blog is "There is nothing scarier than normal people." It gives a hint that she is able to look behind the mask and see something interesting even in the least likely people.  

She gathered a list of character that might be on a list of people least likely to ever meet...ever. I found an angry, rich and drug addicted bald widow, a outrageous old porn star, a slimey manager for the star, a liberal arts college with a cemetery open to only the trustees and a dead husband in a cremation box with a whole gaggle of crazy relatives. In a lot of cases, these people are not who they appear to be in the beginning. Somehow O'Donnell manages to bring them all together in a mysterious set of circumstances that keeps the reader reading long after their eyes have gone to bed.

Even though there is a porn star and his quirky friends, there is no sex. There is just one small murder with tiny hints of more. I am only telling you this because I thought you would want to know.

So, if you are looking for the perfect read for the beach or a rainy afternoon snuggled in a chair with a cup of tea, this is it.  Put it on your list. You will not regret it.

 Available on Amazon: The Last Day for Rob Rhino  

By Kathleen O'Donnell, ( Author ) [ 2013 ) [ Paperback 

Indy Book of the Year Finalist


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Saturday, May 17, 2014

6 Free Anti-aging Solutions

Was thinking about all the things we can do to make us look and feel younger today and not one thing that came to mind cost a dime. How perfect is that?

My reward for hard work!
I was reading a post over at Sightings over Sixty the other day...I seem to be getting some ideas from Tom these days. He was talking about bowling but the post ended with an insight about aging. A fellow bowler pointed out that we are not old until we say it outloud...or at least that was the way I read it. He made me wonder about people that never seem to age. What do they do that keeps them looking and feel much younger than they are? Here is a list of things that I think are important.

  1. Never, never say you are old. It will age you right on the spot without your even getting out of your chair.
  2. Read and talk...everyone can talk about something they have read and age is no boundary. Talking to someone else everyday is so important and now you have something to talk about. Beside that reading is wonderful exercise for your mind!
  3. Smile. It is common knowledge that we smile when we are happy. But could it be that we might feel happy because we smile. I hope so because we all know that smiling is a youthful expression.
  4. Work...hard. Muscles will forget how to move in a nano second! Use your muscles so you can move with ease and comfort.
  5. Wash yourself with vigor. Personal appearance and best of all cleanliness keeps us mindful of our well being. A little lotion or make-up helps but there is nothing like clean hair and skin to make us feel good.
  6. Stand tall...I even sleep on my back for a while every night. My posture is more important that anything. It contributes to my sense of balance as well. 
I am sure there are many more. What do you do that you feel is important to your well being?

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Thursday, May 15, 2014

6 Idea for Building Affiliate Marketing

One of the things we miss most when we are not working or retired is the validation that working for an income provides. Someone thinks we are worthy and pays us to do what we do. I don't know about you but we missed that part of our careers. So, the question is, "How do you find validation and a little income when you are retired or a blogger?" That is where Adsense and Amazon come in if you are a blogger like me.

I'm restoring my water fountain
in my front yard and so I am
shopping for a pump. I
just thought you would want to know!

Tom over at Sightings Over Sixty left a comment and asked me the other day how I made any money using those sources that are allowed on Google Blogger. He said that he had tried Amazon and found that it just didn't provide the validation he wanted. It is tricky to say the very least. There are some ingredients I think you need to make it a worthwhile endeavor.
  1. Time is what you have the most of in retirement or a freelance blogger...time that you can do what YOU want and time is what it takes to make any money online.
  2. Products that you can write about consistently and truly want to promote.
  3. The ability to promote your affiliate position without putting off family and friends.
  4. Enthusiasm for following other people and connecting with them. 
  5. A Facebook account and a group of like minded people that are active in that media. I belong to several groups of women online that support each other. It has worked for me.
  6. Remain realistic in your expectations.
Yesterday I wrote about patience and how it can be such a positive thing. That is what affiliate marketing is all about for me. I suggest that you bookmark my Amazon page on your computer if you shop at Amazon. But I don't bombast you with emails that make you feel you are being stalked. I take my time and am not impatient if I don't see results. I have been doing this for several years. 

In my case, books are my go-to subject. But there are other things I buy. I use Amazon Prime so I usually get free shipping and I can send gifts to grandchildren without worrying that the postage will cost more than the gift. Anytime I buy something on Amazon, I post it on my Facebook account and talk about it on my blog. I write about products that I can promote sincerely. If I don't love the experience why would I try to sell it?

Amazon will also pay me a fee if I refer you to their program.

I love to shop so I visit those website that carry a product that I love and follow their links to find really good stuff that I actually would like to have. For me it is clothes and beautiful things for my home or garden and gifts for my family/friends. It may be boating or financial interests or even underwear for you. (Remind me to tell you about my pantelones underwear online order one day soon.) Then I write about it on my blog. ADSENSE will add links in my sidebar ads that fit what I write about. If people click on those (as I hope they willI receive some income. I get several checks a year from them...sometimes more and sometimes less.

Word of mouth is my best connection. I have spoken to those people in my family that shop at Amazon and asked them to bookmark my Amazon link. They all told their friends and hopefully the word will get out more and more. I also have asked my friends to do the same...once. I have mentioned my account on my Facebook page and in the groups like Midlife Boulevard to which I belong on that social media website.

The key here is you realize this is not easy money. It is something much, much more. It is a small way of validating what we do for fun. Seeking out readers, telling them what you like and spending time being a reader/follower can pay off for you but it will not come fast. I personally think that small income and building an affiliate presence can make a big difference in your life.

I would be interested in hearing any other idea you have.  Just leave a comment with a link to your blog.

Be well.

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Note: I only get a fee if you buy something on Amazon or Adsense. The links above are for your convenience. I hope you found the information helpful.



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Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Retirement: The Art of Waiting

My garden has taught me more lessons than any text book or experts advice. I was reminded of this one more time as I wandered past a beautiful clump of lupine that appeared in the east most spot at the far corner.

Lupine has always seemed to be one of those elusive plants that appear in mountain meadows. I had never imagined that I could tame them to grow near to my front door. When my husband plucked a dry pod from a neighbor's dying plant a couple of years ago, he planted it in our very new flower garden. I did not think that we would ever see a bloom. In the garden that day my husband said, "Wait."

I have never been a particularly patient person but I am learning that new art form as I grow older. In retirement our budget dictates what we do and what we buy. However, we do not give up anything we  want or need. We simply wait. At some later time what we desire will be financially available or emotionally possible. It is wonderful. So it was with the lupine. 

Now it is in bloom. The purple color it displays is beyond anything I could have ever hoped for. It was worth the wait.

Have a wonderful day.

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Saturday, May 10, 2014

Mother's Day is My Day to Laugh...How men peel apples from Facebook!

If you have seen this and haven't shared it with me, shame on you! This is just hilarious. I want to try it. I do not like to peel apples.


Friday, May 9, 2014

On Being the Mother of My Own Story



My Beautiful Brycen (and me).
Watching my Daughter Mother 
is one of the great joys in my life.
When our beautiful mothers and grandmothers are gone, we become the Mother of our own story. Our lives go on but something very pivotal changes without us even realizing it. My mother was a wonderful oral storyteller and when she was gone I become the storyteller in our family. Images she had created for me of our families history or even just life as I grew older became mine to tell.  If I didn't do that for my children they would be gone forever. I need for you to learn from me.

I regret not asking more questions. My mother was not a very positive person and the things I knew about my father's parents were not what they seemed. When my husband began dabbling in genealogy, we discovered wonderful things about them that I would never have dreamed.  I think I was a little afraid to ask or to even do any searching for fear of what I would find.

After my mother was gone I had to find a way to see the world through my own eyes. When I did that, I found that I was surprised at who the people I knew really were. I really do try to make the stories I tell my children and grandchildren as honest as possible without the editorial comments. I want to leave them with the feeling that those that have gone before are part of who they are and give them the sense that it is a very good thing.

The decision to become the Mother of my own story has changed my life and the lives of those around me. What is cannot be changed and no amount of editing can rewrite history or even this very day. As the teller of this story it is my quest to become a shining light. Sometimes my candle grows short but I have found that those around me bring another and I can keep writing and telling the stories they so love.

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Thursday, May 8, 2014

Retirement: Thoughts on The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry



The book called The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry: A Novel by Rachel Joyce is such a wonder...it tells the story of a retired man that relives the journey of his past as he becomes an unsuspecting and surprised pilgrim. This story takes a look at how the retirement journey can change not only our lives but our very being. While we take our past with us we can also grow out of it and become what we have want to be. But, as Harold Fry discovered, it is not an easy journey. It takes time and effort to get to a place where a person feels comfortable in their skin once again.

Harold has lived for 20 years with a life that is not happy or complete. His wife is very angry with him, his son never really connected with him and his job did not give him any satisfaction or joy. There was only one person that seemed to bring a sense of calm to him and she disappeared as quickly as she had arrived. Her name was Queenie. She was plain and quiet but solid. Harold had a great deal of respect for her courage.

Soon after Harold retired, he received a simple letter from Queenie letting him know that she was dying in hospice care on the far side of England. She just wanted to tell him goodbye. So Harold wrote a letter telling her he was sorry, placed a stamp on it and set out to mail it...and simply did not go home. He began a walk across England with no cell phone or wallet while wearing a pair of yachting shoes.

Without realizing what he was doing, he began a trek that changed his life. He started out out to mail a letter and kept going because a young girl at a gas station told him that if he believed enough, Queenie would not die. The girl knew because she had done that for her aunt. So he decided he would deliver the letter in person.

Harold not only needed to see Queenie...he also needed time and quiet and space to think his own thoughts.

He only found the peace he needed after he had faced all the demons that had haunted him for 20 years. The people from the past took on real form as he talked with people along the road and then as a group of people wanting to be pilgrims joined him. I think that each of those people symbolized someone from his past.

With him gone, his wife faced her own issues and came back from the dark place she had been living in for so many years.

Seeing Queenie one last time, as it turned out, was not what he needed. It may have been that it wasn't the destination after all. But then that is the rest of the story and you really do need to read this one.

As I reflected on the book after I finished reading, I could see how a lot of people might want to do what Harold did. Instead of facing their relationship issues or past mistakes they might just walk out the door and keep going. But I think that anyone that did that would face the same thing Harold did and find that they don't ever leave anything behind.

The retirement stage of our life leaves us with our naked being, no job to protect or validate us, a past that needs to be put in perspective and a blank slate to be filled with the rest of our life. The journey is not over. In fact, the pilgrimage is what it is all about. Even if there is no Queenie in our lives there might be a regret or a problem or even a relationship that needs to be tended too. The pilgrimage the retiree (or anyone for that matter) sets out on will be what it is because they have faced the past and can then move into the future.

This is of course a wonderful book.  It has won the acclaim that it deserves. Reading it is a journey in itself!

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Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Humorous Aging: My Children Will Be Coming to give me The Idiot Test!

Happy Birthday
Was that yesterday, today or tomorrow?
I went to the doctor's office the other day to have my FREE Medicare wellness check. That was when I got my first idiot test...you know, the one where they say three words, have a little conversation and ask you if you can remember the three words they gave you.

I passed with flying colors! Yes, I was a little proud but I also know that if I couldn't have done that I wouldn't have ever found my way to the office to begin with. By the way the three words were chair, banana and sunshine.

The reality is there are things I don't remember and never have. For example, I cannot remember my grandchildren's birthdays, may not know what day of the week it is because every day feels like Sunday and do ask some pretty foolish questions. Don't worry. I am just fine. I have always been a little dreamy and forgetful. It is part of my creative personality and I will not change.

But that doesn't alter the way my children see my goofiness. I know that at my age, it is smart to at least appear to be totally in control even if I am not. If I don't, there will be repercussions. You can count on it. I am careful but sometime things just go wrong somehow.

So a couple of weeks ago I sent a message wishing my daughter Happy Birthday...on the wrong day. Then I thought I had the wrong date because I was sure of what day it was. I sent several confusing text messages and finally just gave up. I was so wrong on all counts it was just plain embarrassing. She said it was funny but I suspect that she is wondering about me.

Then today I called that same daughter to ask about my granddaughter's birthday dinner tonight (Tuesday May 6). My granddaughter's birthday is May 7 which is tomorrow (I know now because I just looked it up.) Tuesday is not May 7 as I had thought. Wednesday is in fact May 7! I know, it is all very confusing so you can see how I might not get it right. You do understand don't you or am I just nuts?

My family will be coming soon with a test of some sort...I hope it doesn't involve calendars and birthdays because if it does, my next blog will be written with a caregiver looking over my shoulder. I might add that I suspect I will be getting a calendar for Mother's Day...I do not have even one in this house!

I'm just saying!

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Monday, May 5, 2014

Wives give the World's Best Hearing Test

I suppose that most retirees deal with hearing loss either personally or in their relationships. It is just a given that many of us will get become a little or a lot deaf. Is that a problem? Well yes and no.

Can you hear me now?
See, being deaf can be kinda nice actually. It is quiet, night noises don't bother you and you don't need to even pretend that you hear or understand what the next person is saying because "you have a hearing loss...sorry!" On the other hand the person that is living with a deaf person can become a little grumpy because...well just because.

I know for sure that the most important test for hearing loss happens long before that person ever visits a doctor. I have a friend that gives her husband a hearing loss test every once in a while just to reassure herself that she is not going nuts and that she really did tell him that there was no milk and would he please get some but he claims she didn't.

For example, they were dancing one night and she was talking very pleasantly and he was nodding and smiling at everything she said. In the middle of the conversation she threw him a curve. It went something like this,
"We have been invited to go out to dinner for fish fry on Friday.
He nodded and smiled.
"There will be six of us so would it be okay if we took the van?"
He nodded and smiled.
"I'm having an affair with the milkman."
He nodded and smiled.
The dancing was a lot of fun for them both. But when Friday came around, he was very surprised when six people turned up so he could drive to the fish fry. He never did mentioned the milkman and neither did she. After all, it was only a test.

I'm just saying!

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Note: My husband and I both have hearing aids and they have been wonderful. Thank heavens that we were not so stubborn that we did not do what was necessary!

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