Tuesday, September 19, 2017

Revisiting Harry S. Truman's Love Letter to Bess

This blog post came to my attention today. I found the printed letter on my desk and revisited my thoughts. Harry S. Truman was a straight forward plain spoken man. I heard him speak from the rear of a train on the campaign trail. Even though Memorial Day has past, I wanted to share this one more time.


 May 2009

Today a fellow blogger wrote a post from her home in Provence. It was about the fields of poppies that are in bloom. Corey Amaro from Tongue in Cheek told about traditions in France, back road drives and the beauty of late Spring. I was reminded about a visit my husband and I made to the Harry S. Truman Library in Independence, Missouri many years ago where a single faded poppy caught my eye.

Harry Truman served in WWI when he was a young man. He was courting his wife, Bess, at that time and he sent her a poppy he had picked in a place that was once a medieval country in northern France and southern Belgian called Flanders. The flower had been pressed in the leaves of a book. I have always imagined it was the battle field Bible so many soldiers carried over their hearts.  The poppy later was recreated in paper and veterans sold them on street corners around Memorial Day here in the USA. They were a vibrant symbol of the suffering of a world at war.

The tradition has been carried on by the Veterans of Foreign Wars ever since. My husband and I visit the Harry S. Truman Presidential Library in Independence Missouri several years ago. I found that very poppy on display and along side it was a letter. My heart ached when I read that letter from Truman's to his love...Bess. I have looked for a copy online but cannot find it. As I remember it he said, "If I were a sob sister, I would cry over all the lives that were lost in The Fields of Flanders where the beautiful poppies bloom this time of year."

I could only think that nature has a way of cleaning up when we humans continue to make a mess of things. I write about this every year because I think it is the story worth retelling. Memorial Day is that holiday when we set some time aside to remember our veterans. We continue to “make a mess of things” and in the soil where young men and women have lost their lives, flowers will grow once more. How can we help but not be “sob sisters” at times like these! Just a thought.

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Note: I received an message from a Facebook source about the letter I mentioned above. This is the first time I have had a chance to read it since I was in the library many years ago.  Here is the paragraph I was referencing:
I walked out to the O[bservation] P[ost] the other day (yesterday) to pick an adjusting point and I found two little flowers alongside the trench blooming right in the rock. I am enclosing them. The sob sisters would say that they came from the battle-scarred field of Verdun. They were in sight and short range of Heinie and were not far from the two most famous forts of this line of defense. You can keep them or throw them away but I thought they'd be something. One's a poppy, the other is a pink or something of the kind. A real sob sister could write a volume about the struggle of these pretty little flowers under the frowning brows of Douarmont the impregnable.
I was very grateful for this information. I did not have the facts quite right in the post above but the central thought remains the same.

FTI: Douaumont was the scene of a vicious  World War I battle that began Feb. 21, 1916 and lasted for 10 months.  It was between the Germans and the French. Modern estimates are that 976,000 men were lost.   The letter from Harry S. Truman to Bess was written in November of 1918.  Douaumont was said to be the strongest fort in all of Europe at that time.  WW I began on July 28, 1914 and ended on November 11, 1918.
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Monday, September 18, 2017

On Driving: Don't Be Nice...it just confuses people!

I drive a cute little Mini Cooper Sport when I am at home in Oregon. It is a fun little car that can be a handful if you put it in the "sport" mode. I don't do that.

Mine is all black and not a convertible
and a four door but other than that
it is just like these. :)
Needless to say I am careful. It is not safe even if everything works out, so taking chances increases the chances for dents and bruises. No one, especially me, wants that to happen.

Part of being careful is being nice to people on the road. I will wait for you to go across the street or to pull into my lane. Most of the time that is a good thing.

Sometimes though, it just confuses people. They really don't know what to do when I wave them through or let them take their turn first at a four way stop. People in Oregon don't honk their horns or flip you off (usually). But they do wonder what the woman in a tiny car is doing.

Yesterday I was driving with my daughter in the car with me. I stopped at the intersection, looked both ways twice then waved the lady across the way to go ahead and turn. I was going straight and had the right away. She didn't know what to do with that and just sat waiting for me to obey the law.

Beautiful daughter said, "Mom, go!"

"I was just being nice," I replied.

"DON'T BE NICE MOM, IT CONFUSES PEOPLE."

There you have it...so I drove through first. It seems that obeying the law is a good thing and is, in fact, being nice in it's own way.

Have a beautiful day!

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Friday, September 15, 2017

Living Alone

We take lots of selfies but
don't really know what we are doing!
My husband has gone ahead to Tucson and will signing papers for our townhouse. I am in Oregon in our home in Hillsboro. We have not spent any length apart for almost 7 years. I have gotten used to having him with me. This summer he has not golfed with the men so we have spent everyday, all day together.

We finish each other sentences, bicker over whether we should leave the umbrella up or down in the rain and get in each other's way. But we love to spend time together. Honestly, I miss my husband when he is out of my sight!

Is this all a good thing? Should a wife be than dependent on her husband? Won't that make it harder for one or the other of us when we are left along?

Well, for as long as it lasts I am not going to question my joy. Marriage is still fun even after almost 57 years.

A day in the life of a single retiree must be very lonely I think. When I am by myself, I gain new respect for people who are left alone and live such a full life. It takes some doing on my part to think for myself without hearing my husband's voice in my ear. Isn't that strange? It would take time to get over that I think.

But, you need to know that I do do it without much trouble. I go about my business, visit with neighbors as I walk around my block, read, watch TV and (best of all) write. And in this day of technology I can talk face to face on my iPhone with family or even friends. That is so very wonderful.

It all feels like it might be okay to be alone after a while but I will not know how it really feels until it is my turn.

It is just a thought.

I am having a wonderful day and I hope you are too.

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Thursday, September 14, 2017

Happiness is Hard Work...Life is not Infinite... and other thoughts from out here where the rubber meets the road!

  •  If spouses/partners don't compromise a little, they may miss their chance at happiness. People do die you know...especially when they reach retirement age!

  • A friend of mine had a son that said that he was NEVER getting married...it required too many compromises and he was not willing to do that.

  • I am not an expert on anything but life. I've been married 57 (almost) years but what do I know? I am only a retired educator living the life day after day after day.

Tom Sighting wrote an article that appeared in US News and World report a while back that caught my interest. 5 Ways to be Happier When You Retire set forth some very good common sense ways to make your retirement what you want it to be. I think about that sort of thing. Making each day count is important. My husband and I have been retired for over 20 years so we have worked through the reality of retirement and now we are pursuing those 5 ways to be Happy for ourselves.

But, it wasn't until we have learned to compromise and to find a path down the middle that we were both as happy as we could be. Retirees should remember that the cart doesn't go in front of the horse!

Happiness is a hard won prize!
If you have been retired for any length of time, you know that the path to happiness is not the same for any two people. We all have ways to remain content...if we don't, we only have ourselves to blame. BUT...and here is the big "rock in the road" part...people who are married or living with a partner and are not of one mind may have some problems. If each person's path is different, it only follows that partners might need to compromise.

That is really hard. A friend of mine had a son that said that he was NEVER getting married...it required too many compromises and he was not willing to do that. That young man is nearly grown now, in college and becoming the mature person he should be. Unfortunately, many of us never arrive at a place where compromise is even possible. I have seen it over and over in my retirement life.

So, is there a way to arrive at compromises with out compromising our own life altogether? I wonder.

There was a couple that were enticed by friends to spend the winter in our RV resort...or I should say a golfing friend of the husband convinced him to come and play with him in Arizona. The guys decided to spend the winter golfing and somehow the wife agreed to come. When they arrive in Arizona, the man played golf...all of the time with his friends. The wife quilted...all of-the time...alone.

Now here is the deal...you can quilt in Minnesota in the winter but you probably don't want to golf. He was in seventh heaven and she was furious all-of-the-time. She missed her grandchildren and friends and church. He wanted to golf in the winter and she wanted to stay in Minnesota. No one was giving an inch. She complained to anyone that would listen. It was not fair in her eyes.

What do you think? Did she know how she was going to feel before she left? Did she realize how much time she was going to spend alone or in the company of the other mans wife? I thought not.

Here is the thing about being happy in retirement when you are in a relationship...no one gets to be happy all of the time. Make sign...hang it on the wall...both people have to compromise otherwise it is not going to work out.

In an article appearing in Psychology Today, Leon Seltzer, PH.D (Compromise Made Simple....), pointed out a given when it comes to working out marriage problems no matter how old you are. He wrote:
It makes very little sense to fight about what’s fair. For what feels fair to one party might yet feel grossly unfair to the other. In the end, the only thing that matters is that the solution arrived at feel fair to both of you.
Then he talked about chewing it over and over with the girl friends or the golfing buddies.
Moreover, it hardly matters what anybody else might think. For if you and your partner see your final agreement as equitable, then (for all intents and purposes) it is equitable. That is, no external confirmation is “called for.
In the case of the couple I talked about above, I am sure that everyone that reads this will have a different solution. I kind of wanted to smack the man but it was not my business. A man, on the other hand, might have thought that she was being selfish by ruining her husband's fun. It was his dream to retire and play golf...period. He had worked hard for a very long time after all. (I know...so did she.)

Here are 5 random thoughts about a retirement life you might want to think about:
  1. The practical part of the issue is that retirees needed to compromise...simple as that. I think the wife in the couple I mentioned would have been happy if they could have done other things while they were there or if she could have flown home for a visit or flown a grandchild to spend some time in the sun. He would have been happier because he didn't have to endure her anger.
  2. Remember that averting an argument is better that settling one. Talk about what you feel before you  jump into something you have already decided you will hate.
  3. We are not happy all of the time...so in many cases it is a matter of finding a way to be happy even when our life is not perfect. (Does that make sense.) Tom Sightings had some good ideas. 
  4. Could it be that being retired requires too much together time? Even finding a way to go separate ways...maybe playing a little golf...and come back together can rekindle romance and keep a relationship interesting.
  5. Don''t let it fester...anger is very bad for our health. Please find a way to communicate.
I suppose there are some deal breakers that happen when people retire but I know that most couples don't demand that they have their own way all of the time.

Hearing a wife/husband say that they think the other would like to travel/move/learn to fly but the wife/husband is not ready to leave the grandchildren/horses/bridge club reminds me that life is not infinite. Compromise will let everyone have part of the day just the way they want it. If they don't give a little, they miss their chance. Spouses do die you know!

I've been married 57 (almost) years but what do I know? I am only a retired educator living the life day after day after day. It's just a thought.

What do you think?

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Tuesday, September 12, 2017

What Did I Do to Deserve This...in a good way!

I write about retirement, travel, books and family with some blogging advice and thoughts about current events thrown in. I have never followed the big piece of advice given by all the experts. "Stick to one subject they say." I DO NOT STICK TO ONE SUBJECT! It seems to be working. 



It is a good day for me...really, in spite of the title of this blog post. I have been recognized by a website promoting retirement in Costa Rica. The award was for being one of the Top International Retirement Blogs in 2017.  I thought that it was not who chose the list though. I was impressed at the company I am keeping in retirement blogging these days. That is good.

Retirement Blogs 2017 (welovecostarica.com)
And the really good part is, I am not nearly done yet. I don't even know if I ever will be. One day I suppose I will be finished writing. When I am, I may let you know and I may not. I may not even know I have stopped myself ! The door will remain open.

As I look back, I am surprised at how I have traveled as far as I have in this world. Malcolm Gladwell wrote about the Beatles in one of his books. The story was that the Beatles put in 10,000 hours of work before they even became THE BEATLES. Getting to know any craft is very hard. It is not so much about talent as it is about hard work. I am not even near that point yet.

Back in the day when blogging for seniors was unheard of, I began talking about retirement. The first blog was called Always At Home. We were just starting our traveling journey and it seemed that no matter where I was in the world, I felt at home. I don't need much. That was back in 2006.

I changed the blog title several times before I settled on the current name and domain.

The only way I could find to connect with people was through memes posted by other bloggers like myself. We would write a story or a poem and then comment on each other's material. Actually, I did meet some very unique and talented writers through that process. I would slip those in on a Friday or a Sunday. The rest of the time I just wrote about my life.

I needed an audience though. I began looking for older people and found grandmothers. That was one way of connecting. But I found that no men were writing. As men like Bob Lowry (Satisfying Retirement), Tom Sightings (US News and World Report) and RJ Walters (RJSCorner.net) came on the scene the picture became more complete. I was glad to have someone that was not a grandmother or a mommy blogger to connect with.

I wore out every subject I talked about and all that was left was LIFE! So, life is what I have been writing about ever since.

A wonderful new closed Facebook woman's group opened a few years ago and I was one of the first to join Women of Midlife (even though that ship had sailed for me). That group now boasts 2000 women. Even that group sees an ebb and flow. Still the core group remains very stable. I have found people that share my woman's journey.

Now I write about retirement, travel, books and family with some blogging advice and thoughts about current events thrown in. I have never followed the big piece of advice given by all the experts...Stick to one subject. I DO NOT STICK TO ONE SUBJECT!

Back in the day when I was teaching school I had a student tell me that he wanted to be a doctor so why did he need to read all those books and learn about the world at large. My reply was that if he only learned about being a doctor, he was going to be very boring! I think that may be why I do what I do.

I invite you to go over to look at the list of Top International Retirement Blogs.

How did your journey as blogger begin? I am interested.

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Saturday, September 9, 2017

How to Get Attention: I Might Have Pooped My Pants

Ok, as long as you're here, we may as well talk. No, I didn't do that. What I did was give people a reason to stop by. If I use a swear word, or a inappropriate bodily function in the title, I always get attention. Humans just can't resist!

Isn't it interesting that we breath deeply, very deeply when we smell a foul odor or that we cannot take our eyes off a disaster of any short. A car wreck on the other side of the meridian on a freeway will back traffic up for miles in the traffic going the opposite direction.

I read a post by Ellen Dolgen on her blog, Menopause Mondays, the other day. It was called I Pooped My Pants because she really did p**** her pants. I laughed until I cried. Ellen is one very funny writer. But I have to admit I did not go to the post because I know her or even because she is always so funny. I clicked on her post because well...she pooped her pants. I, as a human being, could not resist.

Who knows, "poop" may be a very important keyword on Google.

So, what makes you go to a blog post? Are you interested or are you just plain curious? Let me know.

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Thank you again Ellen Dolgen. This may be the meme of the week!


Thursday, September 7, 2017

When the world is on Fire, are your beliefs tested?


Did you see the Facebook post by the People for Bernie Sander's? 


Doesn't it feel like Trump denied climate change and the climate said, "Hold my beer and watch this!"


I wasn't going to post this particular piece on climate change but after seeing "Hold my beer and watch this!", I knew I had to get this off my chest. You can comment and get it off your chest too. Then we can all wait. It is sad.



Images from Oregon Live. Smoke and ash filled the area in the PDX metro area.

Image from Oregon Live. The fire jumped the Columbia and is now burning on the Washington side too.

Here in the Portland metro area we could not breath the air this week. A teen dropped firecrackers over a cliff in the Columbia George and now both sides of the Columbia River are on fire. People have been evacuated from their homes. Most of the area affected is in the Columbia Gorge wilderness area or impossible to build on so only 2 homes have been lost.

It has been a record hot summer with temperatures in the 100s in September. Children went back to school this week but could not go outside to play because of ash in the air and hot temperatures. If I were a praying person, I would be praying for rain! We will see.

We are not complaining because we know that our earth is under siege everywhere. We are not unique. I suppose this place always has been a fragile ship floating through space but now it seems to me that there is no denying what we, the passengers on the ship have done to upset the wonderful balance of nature. As those people in Texas and in Florida know, disaster is a promise. Even here nature takes it toll with lightning and rain but in comparison to those places our life is a piece of cake.

When it comes to natural disaster, it becomes unclear who believes what about the why. Here in the United States we are surprised every time we have to endure a hurricanes of historic magnitude and fires that have no respect for wealth or fame. We somehow think we are in control. I began wondering how our belief systems is affecting our actions. Global warming and all that it implies is on my mind.

Let me see if I can explain. When a natural disaster related to weather hits your world, why do you think that is all happening? Who or what or even why is the universe so angry at us?
  1. If you believe that God is in charge of our world, do you think that he/she is angry at you and yours and testing your resolve. Are you being punished for some unnamed sin?
  2. If you believe that, do you simply throw your hands up and change nothing? Is donating money for relief enough?
  3. Do you believe that the theory of climate change is a hoax? 
  4. Wikipedia has detailed information on the various causes of the climate changing. That information includes information on the effects of Methane and Chlorofluorocarbon. Do you just ignore that?
  5. If you are a big business that thinks it would cost too much to do the right thing or your profit would go down, how much do you think cleaning up after a hurricane or rebuilding is going to cost? 
  6. If you believe that scientists are right and we are going to need to clean up our act even more, what do you think we should do?
It is so sad that when we were told the "Inconvenient Truth" all those years ago, the scientific theory became a political/religious ball tossed around by people that changed the documents showing the facts to suit their belief system. For them, the world is still flat, gravity is an act of God and the sun rotates around the earth. When a scientist discovered that the world was round, he was persecuted and maybe even punished. It took a very long time for people to realize the truth of the idea. But up until now, all of those battles that scientist have fought through history have not been about warning us that we are destroying the ground we stand on...the surface of the earth.

No matter how your look at it, I think we are up against it now. Even though we have come along way and responsible people are truly trying to do the right thing, I am wondering if the ship has sailed and we are all on board. The oceans are rising, the tundra melting and our land is falling into the sea. I am wondering if, like Noah on the Ark, we will have to sit on the mountain top until it is safe to begin a new way of life.

One thing I know for sure is that we cannot close our eyes or plug our ears anymore. Even when the ship is going down, the people on board bail water and hope. Sometimes it even works!

What do you think? Did the Universe say, "Hold my beer and watch this?"

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Note:  1824 - French physicist Joseph Fourier describes the Earth's natural "greenhouse effect". He writes: "The temperature [of the Earth] can be augmented by the interposition of the atmosphere, because heat in the state of light finds less resistance in penetrating the air, than in re-passing into the air when converted into non-luminous heat." BBC News and Science

Saturday, September 2, 2017

My Grandsons Told Me That I Am the Best

Once a year since my children began school I have gone school shopping. That has been almost 50 years of a wonderful new beginnings. When my children were small we bought erasers, a large box of crayons and underwear. Now I am not responsible for school supplies...I am responsible for bringing joy. It is so much fun...not easy...but fun. I am a grandmother now.

Brayden at age 7.
Yesterday was my young grandson's day to be taken out for a day with Grandma. They are 9 and 7. We wandered through Macy's and Target. We bought t-shirts (a huge success) and one grandson convinced me to buy a sweat shirt with a Five Nights at Freddie's design. It took a bit of negotiation on his part but we got the job done. The youngest just watches with a puzzled look on his face and asks for nothing. I have to encourage him to tell me what he wants. The youngest walked away with 3 t-shirts and the oldest with 2 t-shirts and a sweat shirt. The youngest did ask if we could visit the Pokemon in the toy aisle before we left the store earlier in the morning and I paid attention.

So after the clothes shopping we walked to the toy aisle where the boys found the Pokemon card sets. That was where they got very serious. They had a limit on time and money so being focused was important. They looked and wondered and even did a price check at one point. They pondered the idea of pooling their money. In the end they walked out with just what they wanted given how much they could spend.
Brysen at age 5.

I bought 16 rolls of toilet paper and some Armour All Wipes to use to clean my car with. We were all smiling as we walked to the car.

Naturally, after a hard morning of shopping we needed to eat so we headed off to Red Robin. We have gone to the same place since this ritual began with this family of children 4 years ago.

As we were walking, to the door they clutched their cards in their hands. That was when I wondered out loud if they loved me. Of course we love you grandma they both said in unison. Why?  I asked, wondering what the response would be.

We love you because you are the best! Why did you think we would love you?

I thought it would be because I bought you prizes. It was hard to admit to them that I even thought that.

I walked into Red Robin marveling out loud...WowI am the best! Honestly, isn't that just the most wonderful thing ever? I am still smiling!

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Things that Go Bump in the Night

Do you live alone? Are you afraid? Do noises make you jump? My little dog is a barker and noises make her jump. She barks at her reflection ...