|Son, daughter-in-law, husband and grandchildren...I'm trying|
to remember the rules.
How to Be the Perfect Grandma
(click this link to view on Amazon)
Then in 2010 she put out a second edition. Her grandchildren were growing up, the oldest were in college another in middle school. The life she described in the first edition was changing and she was facing the last empty nest syndrome.
The Last Empty Nest Syndrome
Paston was the kind of grandmother that threw herself into the role with headlong passion. She provided a closet solely for the use of one grandson to use as a pretend office. Picnics in bed and trips to museums filled grandchildren visits. She had a box of dress-up clothes and toys gleaned at yard sales. Her job description was "Grandmother" and she loved it. I can imagine that she threw herself into the raising of her children much as she immersed herself in the lives of her grandchildren.
Then time passed...eight years later the youngest was 12 and she did not need the closet for a pretend office anymore. The older grandchildren did not return her calls and she was feeling a loss that I think made her heart ache. She was experiencing the "last empty nest syndrome". Even if she did get to be involved in her great-grandchildren's lives, she probably would not be needed the way she had always been before.
The poignant thing here is that the children and grandchildren thought they needed her more than anything. But the truth was the Paston was the one that needed them. It made me sad because I see myself in so many ways in Byrna Nelson Paston. I even know that the likelihood of my seeing my baby granddaughter of 5 month grow up and have children of her own is very slim. I too can feel the shift in my role with my children and grandchildren.
I will share this book with my daughter and her brother's wives. I think it will be valuable even now as they are raising their children. Every expecting grandmother needs to read these words and truly take them to heart. If they don't know the rules, they are bound to make unneeded mistakes and why should we let that happen?
Have a wonderful day.
A special thanks goes out to Jessica Marr at Pine Media for sending me this book. Jessica owns a website called MomVantage.