Thursday, February 11, 2010

Inlaws, Outlaws and Grandparenting

Not everyone gets to be a grandparent.  I remind myself of this fact when I worry about the baby or the teenager.  It is a huge privilege to be included in their lives.

It is a fact though that being included in our grandchildrens lives mean that we must also be loved by our children-in-laws.  I love them without question.  On the other hand, I am not as lovable as I could be sometimes.  In my rush to fill their needs I find that I overstep the boundaries and invade their comfort zones.  Thank heavens they are forgiving and see my efforts as good although misguided...sometimes.

Then there are the "outlaws"...the children-in-law's parents.  They are well meaning and wonderful people.  Here, it seems, is a whole different dilemma.  You must understand, as I am trying too, that they too want to "rush" to their children's aid.  It is a train wreck waiting to happen.  Respectful dimuring negotiations go on as we tip toe around each other while marking territories and boundaries.  Holy Moly!!!!

So if you are working on aging with grace, helping your children as they struggle through life and surviving human relationships that you did not choose, welcome to my world.

I am in Portland trying to assist my son and his family get through the trauma of having their newborn baby in Neonatal Immediate Care Unit.  Here is hoping that I can actually not be more of a hurt than a help.

Have a great day.


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