How to Know If You Are a Part of the Solution

My beautiful family.

When one of our family is ill, it is the first impulse of a parent to rush to their aid. It is as natural as having babies. We can read our children's voices and know exactly what their face looks like and how they are coping. It come from the close bond that happens when they are born.

The question is if we do rush in; Are we part of the problem or part of the solution? I am at the age when I have given up control of my family and am letting them nurture me. I am not a help when a crisis arises because now my children know more than I do.

I remember when my aunt lay dying of a heart attack, my mother interfered in the family dynamic and caused some very hard feelings. While her intent was pure her words were unkind. That lesson is still with me today. Backing away is hard but intruding would not change the outcome and would, in fact, add to the problem.

My son-in-law has had a heart attack and will be receiving the care he needs. My heart is in my throat and my first impulse was to fly to the aid of my daughter. She is a very wonderful daughter and her gentle reminder was "We will be OK. Thank you for the offer but not now." She has a grown son and a mature daughter. It is their time to solve problems. It would not be a help.

So, there is a lesson for you here. Always remember that if you are not a part of the solution, then you might become part of the problem.

I am just saying.

Get well Doug. We love you.

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