|My Back Patio View...Arizona|
The title probably give away too much...but then my life is an open book and has been since I started blogging 2006. The words have always been about ME: my thoughts, adventures and everything that I "think" I know. It has been a take it or leave it kind of blog but I still get hits on blogs about my lifestyle.
I have, during that time, spent over 25 years of retirement with a husband of 61 year. The changes have been remarkable I think. Travel, adventure, writing, moving houses, aging and now the loss of my spouse in December. A whole new stage has begun.
My life is NOT over in case you were worried. Everyone is so sympathetic and I understand that they know what they would feel at their age. But for those of us that have lived much longer that they ever expected, it is simply what it is. I saw it coming for quite a while but my husband put on such a good front that everyone else including my children were shocked at his death and experienced grief. That broke my heart as did my own personal loss.
But, I am fine. So the question is, "Where do I go from here." We/I own a home in Oregon that I love...in the summer. We/I own a home in Arizona that I love in the winter. I live two different lives. But up until now I shared the responsibility of opening and closing each home when the season was right.
|Oregon Back Yard|
In Oregon I am surrounded by family. In Arizona I am not. I have a few friends that I need to reach out to but at this time I have not been able to make myself do that. I have been here since late January, most of that time it has been just me. Time was filled with sorting out what is left and, of course, assembling the papers so an accountant can do our taxes. It has only been a few days for me with really, really nothing pressing to do.
Now, I know what you are going to say...volunteer, get out and so forth. If only it were that easy. See I think you truly have to want to do those things or you will fall those you are suppose to help. And I don't, not now, maybe never.
So it is up to me to figure that out and Arizona is the perfect place to do that on my own personal terms. I read, exercise and visit with family frequently. I know the next step is there and I will take it when the time is right. Hopefully, a push will come from someplace.
In the mean time, I am going back to Oregon in early April.This house will go to sleep. My oldest son will help me and learn what that process looks like. There is a long list of projects here I have in mind. We will see what the future brings. I will be back here. I like the thought of continuing with a life I have loved so much.
Any thoughts? I am very interested.
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Older posts: Retirement...that's how it goes!