Saturday, February 3, 2024

Don't Dither...Be Smart!!

My Grandparents,
 He lived to be 74 and 
she to age 82. They both lost all
their teeth in their 40s.

I know you are drowning in advice if you are an aging retiree. As we all know, people like us are in charge. We don't change our minds willingly.

Once we are over 65 my friend said, our children want to be our parents. She didn't like that. It doesn't seem like that to me but in many cases, it is true. Children of any age can be age blind. Fear might be playing a part for them. They do not understand aging so they project their fears onto us. 

Age blindness has children giving advice on issues they know nothing about. It all looks so simple to them. In my friend's case, a daughter wants her to move back to the East Coast to be nearer to her. It would simplify the daughter's life. Her mother believes that leaving this snowbird life would be the last nail in her coffin...life would be over. The daughter doesn't understand her mother's fears.

My mother asked me what she would do after she could not manage her home anymore. I was dismissive of her. I remember suggesting we could find help so she wouldn't have to move. It never occurred to me that she was ready to move and actually wanted to do that. What she might have had in mind was moving in with me. So, her staying in place was easier for me.

There are so many things going on as our life progresses. Being independent is very important to many. the trick is to do that smoothly and keep our families happy. My advice at the age of 82 is:

1) Never appear to be in your dotage if you are not. Being helpless is a way to get attention but it will come back and bite you. 

2) Always take care of medical issues. Hearing aids, glasses, and teeth are medically expensive. When you retire, make sure you have money to deal with those things. If you cannot hear, younger people think you are senile when all you are is deaf. Don't be oblivious to the world around you...wear your glasses. As for your teeth... your whole body is damaged when your teeth are bad. Besides that, it is not attractive to have rotten teeth. (Tooth Decay: Can it Kill You?)

3) Learn what is happening and what will happen as you age. There are signs of deterioration so learn about those and how to overcome those that can be overcome. You need to understand where you are at the onset of aging issues.  (Dementia),  (What to Expect while Aging, Mayo Clinic)

4) Include your children in big financial decisions. They will appreciate that and it will make their life much easier as time goes by.

5) Discuss what your life will look like as you become less capable.

5) And lastly, the obvious is to remain active. Our children will trust you if you exercise, write, read, and socialize. PERIOD

I will repeat: use whatever devices you need to function. Hearing aids, glasses, and medication are important. Don't dither. Act smart and your children will think you are perfect because you truly are! 

What is your advice?

b+

PS: I have a confession...I take a dose of CBD every night. I believe (that is important) it helps!


1 comment:

  1. Mom, you are so vibrant and smart I forget that you are a little old.

    ReplyDelete

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