Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Humorous Aging: My Children Will Be Coming to give me The Idiot Test!

Happy Birthday
Was that yesterday, today or tomorrow?
I went to the doctor's office the other day to have my FREE Medicare wellness check. That was when I got my first idiot test...you know, the one where they say three words, have a little conversation and ask you if you can remember the three words they gave you.

I passed with flying colors! Yes, I was a little proud but I also know that if I couldn't have done that I wouldn't have ever found my way to the office to begin with. By the way the three words were chair, banana and sunshine.

The reality is there are things I don't remember and never have. For example, I cannot remember my grandchildren's birthdays, may not know what day of the week it is because every day feels like Sunday and do ask some pretty foolish questions. Don't worry. I am just fine. I have always been a little dreamy and forgetful. It is part of my creative personality and I will not change.

But that doesn't alter the way my children see my goofiness. I know that at my age, it is smart to at least appear to be totally in control even if I am not. If I don't, there will be repercussions. You can count on it. I am careful but sometime things just go wrong somehow.

So a couple of weeks ago I sent a message wishing my daughter Happy Birthday...on the wrong day. Then I thought I had the wrong date because I was sure of what day it was. I sent several confusing text messages and finally just gave up. I was so wrong on all counts it was just plain embarrassing. She said it was funny but I suspect that she is wondering about me.

Then today I called that same daughter to ask about my granddaughter's birthday dinner tonight (Tuesday May 6). My granddaughter's birthday is May 7 which is tomorrow (I know now because I just looked it up.) Tuesday is not May 7 as I had thought. Wednesday is in fact May 7! I know, it is all very confusing so you can see how I might not get it right. You do understand don't you or am I just nuts?

My family will be coming soon with a test of some sort...I hope it doesn't involve calendars and birthdays because if it does, my next blog will be written with a caregiver looking over my shoulder. I might add that I suspect I will be getting a calendar for Mother's Day...I do not have even one in this house!

I'm just saying!

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  1. LOL! I have the same trouble with dates, although with most things I am competent. One of my most embarrassing moments was when I bought a new coffee pot. My old one had one button. Push it to turn it on. Push it again to turn it off. After I bought the new one, I was going somewhere with my daughter, and I went to turn off the coffee pot. I pushed and pushed the button, but the light didn't go off. I said something to my daughter, who came over and pushed the off button. This coffee pot has TWO buttons, one for on, one for off. Did I feel dumb! But I promise I can function well in most areas.

    1. Oh dear, I do hate when that happens! I find myself talking to myself..."Now Barbara, you are a very smart person. You can figure this out!"

  2. I know every dementia test--so my mother would have me give them to her as she had the best short term memory of anybody. Had to know what pills to take as she became blind etc

    I also give my best friend dementia tests. She used to be the youngest of us all--age and mentality and suddenly has turned into her mother who was never well a day in her life and "would have caught AIDS from nothing if she had been alive." Well it was funny when we were 30.
    I can't begin to say the amount of things I naturally can't do that were always considered funny and actually helped me make friends--everybody loves a young pretty bright ditz. An older one--not so much! However I just pretend I'm still young which I'm sure will cause its own problems!

    Last week I knew it was Tuesday April 29th but I spent the entire day thinking the next day was May 1---have no idea why.
    Can't put that down to aging--have made this particular mistake forever--since I had to sign my name and the date a hundred times a day.
    Only 4/29 and 5/01 though

    1. I am with you...I am no different than I was 30 years ago. I would have failed the dementia test even back then! :)

  3. Hmmm, nobody ever gave me the idiot test. I guess they knew the answer already.

    1. Do worry Tom...they will be giving you that test soon enough. And it will not be because they think you are an idiot...it will be because the government requires everyone to take it. I suppose a few have slipped through the cracks!

  4. I really enjoyed this post. Those wacky things my father does (sends out all birthday cards for the quarter the first month of each) and totally forgets everything after that are not going to worry me so much. Enjoyed your humor.


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