Monday, September 12, 2016

Are You a Good Listener?

Black Norwegian Elkhound
A very good listener. (Black Norwegian Elkhound Photo credit: Wikipedia)
I think that learning to listen is one of the hardest skills to learn. In fact, I wonder if you can actually do that.

Could it be that some people are born naturally interested in what other have to say? Are they born with an inner calm that lets they hear what is going on around them?

Sometimes it seems to me that we are shouting so we can be heard over what others are saying. Impatience or disinterest will not let us wait until it is our turn or even on some occasions, to a later day.

I often say jokingly that "It is all about me!" When that is true I simply don't listen at all.

So, how good of a listener are you? Tell me one thing that you learned about another person this last week. I will listen because I truly am interested. :)



  1. A dear friend told me yesterday that she is leaving town at the end of the month, moving away. She cried as she told me about it, because she knew I would be very sad for her. She is a caregiver who has lost two clients in the past month, and she no longer can make a living here. Plus her mom died last year and left her a house, but she resisted moving back and now is going ahead with the move. Huge life changes. :-(

    1. I think the best part of being a good listener is the willingness to just listen...nothing more. You must be perfect DJan.

  2. Hi, Barbara - This is a very timely post. This past weekend, I learned that my son and my daughter-in-law are very good listeners to each other. At a baby shower, without my son present, my DIL was successfully able to predict over 90% of my son's answers to basic questions about their upcoming parenthood (e.g. what is your biggest fear about raising a child, which personality trait of each other would you like your new daughter to have...). I was very impressed. Although I truly enjoy listening to others, I would definitely like to really hear what others are saying.

    1. Yes I think you are right...the listening part is one thing but actually hearing and processing what is being said is another. I often think that a response is necessary but only one that reflects what the talker is saying.

  3. A coworker is very concerned about her son and his future for many reasons. As much as I wanted to offer my "two cents", I made myself simply listen. I often find myself trying to fix whatever problem someone is talking to me about, when the best thing I can do for them is just listen. This is a very thoughtful post.

    1. Perfect. I have had the experience many times of offering up my concerns only to met with quick solutions. I know I didn't want that. All I wanted was someone to reflect with me.

  4. most people think I'm a good or often great listener. I refuse to give advice but I will listen forever. Like SimplySingleSenior I used to try to fix everybody's problems and you can't.
    My sister often thinks I'm the worst listener in the world, and care about nobody but me. She hates it that I won't give advice.
    I've learned that when I want to get off the phone with her to turn the conversation to me. So uh.....This sounds funny but I have very little family and most of the family isn't speaking to her so it causes me much heartbreak as I either have to see my cousins in secret or not see them. I've actually told them not to invite me to weddings and such if they're not going to invite her
    So how a person perceives you as a listener can have horrible ramifications.

    1. That is so true Pia. Being a good listener is only good if the person is talking to you. If they are only talking to or about themselves, you are only a chair being occupied in the room.

      Families are tricky aren't they. But I think that we need to control what is ours to control and let the rest go. It would be sad if you were judged as an unfaithful cousin or niece if you socialized with the other side. Darn.

      And it turns out that listening is even tricky!


Leave your thoughts...I am interested.

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