Saturday, May 20, 2017

I Would Like to do That But I Just Don't Want To

We were sitting with neighbors last night talking about wine and other important things. The conversation turned to retirement and how we all worried about filling the days without a schedule and a job. Would we be bored? How would it feel to be without deadlines and big responsibilities?

Many people move from a work schedule to a very busy life full of "stuff". I am even told by women of my age that they would like to read or walk or even have coffee with me but they are simply "too busy". Isn't that interesting? How could that be?

As I was reading an article on a blog site called Your Entrepreneurial Spirit this morning, it finally all came into focus for me. In the introduction I found this paragraph:
He drew me a picture! What a wonderful day.

Sogyal Rinpoche
, author of “The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying” coined the term “active laziness” to describe how we attempt to live life to the fullest by filling the hours with too many unimportant activities.... Your E
ntrepreneurial Spirit
In today's world we are encouraged to live a full life brimming with activities, exercise and volunteer work. If we are to be fulfilled we must always be living in the moment and savoring the experience...or so I am told. If we don't do that, we are not worthy!

That is all very good but here is the thing...I would really like to do that but I just don't want there you have it.

My days are filled with joy and the best day is one that has some contact with another. I simply love that part of my life. And I think because it makes me happy, it actually lifts the other person up too.

I do not fill my day with "active laziness" now. I suppose at one time or another I felt a tiny bit of panic because I woke and looked at a day with a lot of empty space. On this blog I have talked about the importance of a routine when the days loomed long. But, if something better presented itself, I would drop that routine in a second. I am never "too busy" for someone that is interested in spending time with me.

How about you? Do you fill your day with unimportant details just because...? I am interested in how you feel about your life?



  1. The concept of 'active laziness' is new to me and interesting. Now I am retired I aim to have one day a week where I don't drive anywhere and I am always delighted when I do it. It is very restful to have that day at home and nothing scheduled: just do what I like, take walks as usual with my dog, putter in the garden, read. Ah, bliss. If a friend wants to meet me for coffee I say yes since friends are treasures.

    1. One day is a start and, if a friend calls on a day that is not your day off, drop everything and spend time with them. It really is important.

  2. The first couple of months after retiring I felt a little guilty when I didn't accomplish anything during the day or days..and then I stopped and remembered all the years I worked 2 and 3 jobs and raised my 3 kids all by myself...and then I decided I could and would do or not do whatever I wanted...and the best thing is when a friend or family member wants to go for lunch or shopping or just a chat...I will drop my "doing nothing" immediately..and go with is short!

    1. You made me happy with this comment Renee! It really is about the pace of life especially after we retire. We are busy with life but never too busy to take time for another human. Be well.

  3. Hi Barbara! You bring up an interesting point. I completely agree that some people seem to jam as much as possible in their days and never appear to slow down a bit. Others seem to sit around like couch potatoes and never do anything. What's better? From where I sit the major focus is figuring out what is fulfilling and satisfying to each of us--and doing that. Just like there is no one size fits all for health and happiness, neither is there one size for what one person thinks is important or another person things is unimportant. Surely getting together with others is important--but again, doesn't that sort of depend on "who" those others are and how I prioritize my other activities at that particular time? I sure don't have any answer for this question you pose--but I do agree that how we answer, and getting clear on what matters most to us, will help us as life goes on. ~Kathy

    1. Yes, point is always that the questions make us think. I don't have than many friends so making a choice about whether I will accept or not is never a problem. Sometimes I wish it were. :)

  4. I have started making a conscience decision to be lazy with hubby after work. He is retired, I am not but I try to just sit on the sofa with him after work and do nothing!

    1. Now you have discovered the best meaning for "being lazy". I like that.


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