Wednesday, October 23, 2013

The New York Times Can Still Make Me Laugh!

I subscribe to the NYT's online. It costs me $20 a month and I often question the wisdom of paying for the news from them. And then they put something on the front page that makes me laugh. I am a sucker for a good laugh and I will in fact pay $20 a month just on the off chance that there may be one coming soon.

And here it is...Giving a Wife Her Front Yard Burial...No Matter What. The first paragraph went like this:
STEVENSON, Ala. — James Davis figures that his first mistake was asking permission. If a man promises his wife he will bury her in the front yard, then he should just do so.
New York Times Stevenson Journal (Notice that Mr. Davis has left a place for his name on the grave marker. WOW!)
I know...I should not laugh at this but, see, I am 72 so I live very close to the time when I will be telling someone where to put me. Oh, I promise it will not be the front yard of our home. Still, if I were inclined, I suppose I could make some wonky request on my death bed while under the influence of a pain killer! Thankfully, I live in Oregon so I don't think it would be allowed, especially if someone asked permission. In that part of the world people don't normally bury other people in the yard unless there has been a crime. Alabama is still a little ambiguous on the matter.

The inscription on Mrs. Davis's tombstone cannot be seen but I did speculate about what it might say. "She wanted to be buried here"  or "I told you not to step on the flowers".

I've often thought about what they could put on my tombstone if I did get buried in my front yard or any place for that matter. Please know that the whole idea is ridiculous because I really don't want one of those. (Write that down someplace please.) But, if I did, I have several epitaphs chosen already. I have always loved the famous "I Told You I Was Sick!" that appears on the tombstone of Mike Milligan. Another one that tickled me was what Margaret Daniel's family put on her tombstone:
She always said her feet were killing her but nobody believed her. (Wintersong)
When I am much in demand around I house, I often tell anyone that will listen that my tombstone is going to say "And She Was Somebody" because they will always scream "Will somebody get me some toilet paper?" That "somebody" would be me. Another famous tombstone went one line said:
I was somebody.Who, is no businessOf yours. (Wintersong)
I wouldn't say that because it would be rude and I don't want people to know how I REALLY felt.

Mr. Davis, our front lawn cemetery keeper, looks like a determined man. We can surmise that he is honest because he did ask for permission to do this. On the other hand he might be just a tiny bit stubborn. What do you think? 

And what about Mrs. Davis...why did she want to be buried in the front yard? One has to wonder if she liked the yard or if she wanted to spend eternity keeping an eye on Mr. Davis. I'm just saying!

I am telling my family to do whatever makes them happy. If they really need a grave marker, it is okay with me. There is a tombstone somewhere that says "This Ain't Bad Once You Get Used To It". I just cannot wrap my mind around that one. In fact, I have a feeling that I won't care much when the time comes and getting used to it? Well you tell me. 

As you can see, I am still laughing at life and death. Life is good...death might be same. Who knows! I am always content no matter where I land.

As a final thought I need to tell you to laugh at life. It is very short and who needs to be sad? Not me. And, yes I do know that I have a dark humor. What can I say?


Note: Google wanted me to put Sponge Bob Square Pants in the label section. Who am I to argue with them?
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Leave your thoughts...I am interested.

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